Mutant Chicken Greets Students at College Heights
Decatur Metro | August 11, 2009
NellieBellie has sent in shocking photographic evidence of a giant, mutant chicken harassing innocent students on their first day of school at College Heights yesterday.
I’d like to go on the record saying that I have no problem with mutant poultry as long as they remain concealed under porches and among thick brush. But I draw the line when they become bold enough to start terrorizing our children on their first day of school! Be it cockroaches or mutant chickens, the same rule applies: for every one you see, there are hundreds that you can’t.
In fact, I can almost guarantee that least 30% of all commenters here are some form of mutant poultry. (FYI…the intermittent “bawk!”s are giving you away. Is it really necessary to type out “bawk”?! Seems a bit excessive.)
More gruesome documentation after the jump.
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My son walked by the chicken and said, “Why is he here? He’s not the Chik-fil-a Chicken.”
The chicken knew called me and my son by name. PSYCHIC CHICKEN!
Ah, but such luscious, meaty nuggets he’d make– and a great many of ‘em, too! (Um, the chicken– not your son, Gibbes…)
Yea, the boy’s kinda scrawny–I didn’t remind him that the Chik-fil-a guy-in-a-suit was a cow–I figured he find that out when he goes to Winnona next year.
From what I understand, the College Heights PTA Nutrition Committee got right on this. CSD parents should expect a lot of poultry on the menu next week. Apparently, the adorable gray-clad child in the second photo disarmed the mutant by calling it “daddy”. I knew all these damn Decatur chicken coops were trouble.
The way roosters are, he might be all our daddy.
At least it wasn’t a zombie!
It could have been worse. I could have been this chicken.
http://www.readthehook.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/snap-peta-mcdonalds.jpg
Maybe someone should drop it off at the Oakhurst Garden. That’s what happens to most other stray chickens around here. At least they’d feed it better. That’s one saggy-fleshed bird.