If you’ve ever found yourself cruising the Emory Village strip some random Wednesday night, looking for a place to down a couple of cold ones with your buddies, you’ve recognized the general lack of establishments at which to partake in this time-honored tradition. Now that Park Bench is long gone, you probably found yourself at Everybody’s. And while I do enjoy their pies and appreciate their local brews, its far from the perfect hangout for someone looking to forget about grad school finals for a few hours.

So what the hell? Supply and demand implies that Emory Village should be crammed full of bars, crammed full of Emory students from across that vast five-way intersection. Well, see that church up on the hill yonder? That’s why.

“Whaa?” you might mumble.

Well, apparently there’s a DeKalb County ordinance which states that “distilled beverages” cannot be served within 200 yards of a church or school (I like to think of it as keepin’ the drink away from preachers and teachers). Whaa? “But what about Everybody’s?” you retort. Umm…I guess it got an exemption because its a restaurant and not a bar? “What about Park Bench?” you counter. Umm…I have no idea. I’m just as confused as you are. Read this AJC article to understand how vague and hollow the ordinance really is.

Well that brings us to last week when Julia Ann Griffith, a Druid Hills resident against the revitalization, called on Emory in the AJC to support the existing ordinance “for the health and safety of Emory students”.

Well, to Emory Wheel Senior Staff Writer Steven Stein, Griffith’s message reeked of ulterior motives. So he responded in his own paper thusly…

“Griffith, advancing the same type of logic that made the Prohibition so successful, writes that college-age drinking is bad. Apparently there’s a big brouhaha over whether alcohol should be sold in Emory Village. Griffith believes the demon whisky (and beer… and wine…) should be banned from that stamp-sized stretch of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Griffith and some of her Alliance to Improve Emory Village cronies claim to be looking out for the well-being of us young’uns. It seems more likely that they’re trying to protect the integrity of the “historical Druid Hills neighborhood” (read: property values). This is why, when Dave’s Cosmic Subs moved into its shack at the edge of the Village, a bunch of Alliancers tried to shut it down. It was an “eyesore,” delicious subs be damned.

Griffith’s solution to the epidemic (plague…scourge…) of college-age drinking is as absurd as the idea of Soulja Boy doing the Lindy Hop. Think about it: Griffith wants to get rid of all the places students can walk to for a drink.”

Stein has a lot of fun with the Griffith in his article, but I agree with his point. There are many good reasons to be against the redevelopment of Emory Village, but I wouldn’t be so bold as to argue that my opposition is based on the health and well-being of Emory students.

A strip of hopping bars within walking distance might actually make them safer.