"You Might Be From Decatur, GA If…"
Decatur Metro | August 27, 2008Cherie sends along this humorous list from a Facebook page maintained by a former DHS student called “You Might Be From Decatur, GA If…”. Numbers 5, 7, 10 and 22 are my favorites.
You might be from Decatur, GA if…
1) you think Gwinettians and Cobbites are horrible drivers.
2) you’ve played on that huge vent thing in the Square when you were little.
3) you struggle to come up with traits that people from Decatur have in common.
4) you have ever contemplated stealing from the CVS (note: this is not condoning theft from said store)
5) you know tons of shortcuts to get from Clairemont to Scott, Scott to Church, Church to Ponce, etc.
6) you drive in a huge circle around the square even if you’re destination is right on the other side of it.
7) you or your parents have fought over school funding, city elections, or development like it was a matter of life or death.
8 ) you’ve ever executed questionably legal maneuvers to avoid sitting for 15 minutes at a red light.
9) you’ve ever had a really butch woman ask you where “Her sister’s room” is.
10) you’ve ever been told off for being on a playground at a highly inappropriate age/time of night.
Read numbers 11-33 after the jump…
11) you miss the soothing sensation of MARTA vibrating your house as you go to sleep.
12) you know your local homeless personalities by name, and they also know you.
13) you camped out the night before Chick-fil-a opened.
14) you have seen Mr. Spandex around town (you might know him by a different name).
15) you can tell someones sexual preference just by looking at their shoes.
16) you’ve illegally gone swimming in new condo pools.
17) you’ve ever hung out at Java Monkey, by choice or by force (or the same place by another name, such as Church St Coffee).
18) you went to either the grave yard or First Baptist to get wasted off your ass.
19) you have ever said you are from Atlanta when traveling out-of-state so people don’t think you are from some rural town.
20) you know someone whose parent is a member of the city government or school board.
21) you know people beyond your school system because of the DDY or Decatur Rec.
22) You are surprised when you go to a “diverse” college by how little diversity there actually is.
23) You have gone to at least 1 DHS football game, even though you don’t attend any of the City Schools of Decatur.
24) You feel very strongly about your own views, and have delayed a class for at least 10 minutes arguing you point about a current event.
25) You’ve been harased by a Decatur cop.
26) You’ve ever watched the DHS homecoming parade from one side of the courthouse, then ran around to the other side to watch it again.
27) Whenever you go to other schools’ parties, you end up hanging out with other people from Decatur.
28) You’ve ever watched DHS games from the wall across the field from the stadium seats.
29) you’ve had to smell water bottles before drinking out of them.
30) you have gone to school and seen somebody else wearing your clothes on more than one occasion
31) You think (or rather, know) the Avondale WAHO is the shit. (I’m talking about after midnight)
32) You heard them / him / her at Eddie’s Attic before everyone else heard of them / him / her.
33) You’ve exaggerated the amount of times Ms. Weaver had been hit by a vehicle (three of which were parked, I swear).
(To be continued…)
Latest from Decaturish
Ok, please clue in this slightly old and apparently very uncool ( aka NOT “the shit”) reader…. what is the Avondale WAHO?
That would be Waffle House…
Speaking of, the refurb of the original WAHO has taken on covert maneuvers. Does anyone know why they put the blinders over the windows when they were already almost done? Must be something super double top secret.
Waffle House
I think it is going to be a museum/tourist spot as the original wafflehouse…just a guess…
BTW, hilarious list…let’s add some more…I will start…
34. You wonder who designed the bandstand so that at concerts you can’t sit in front of it but to the side and WHEN IF EVER the city will correct it to face the plaza so that it is actually functional for the events it puts on!
35. You allow school children to illegally and UNSAFELY cross train tracks to go to school while the police watch and do nothing to the technically trespassing youngsters…or their irresponsible parents.
36. People walk in the streets instead of on the sidewalks.
37. You have had the police respond to your call so fast they get there before you can put on your housecoat!
38. You patronize a CITGO because it is “easiest” and thereby enable the owners to continue to operate a filthy and unsightly business covered in graffiti.
39. You live most of your life and don’t have the stress that you are actually inside the big city of Atlanta.
40. You are exhausted because you volunteer so much to help your community just like most of your neighbors.
41. You have neighbors who want to protect every tree, twig, or dilapidated building in the name of preservation.
42. You think “thank God I dont live in Cobb” when you hear the traffic report…
43. You know that if gas gets TOO high, you can walk to all the things you must have…some are farther than others…but you can do it!
44. Everyone at City Hall is friendly to you.
45. You cannot determine the gender of your barista.
Isn’t this fun?
46. You go to challenge your Dekalb Tax assessment and the people on the other side of the table act as if you have no brain and they spout double talk to the point of confusion in response to your request for a logical explanation. After leaving the meeting, you wonder what the hell just happened and trudge home to await your increased tax bill. (OK, technically this is Dekalb thing, but the counties FREE OFFICE SPACE is located within our tiny tax area…not on county land).
47. You fought the idea of CVS coming to your neighborhood; didn’t visit it for a few weeks after it opened but now your children beat a path to its doors every day after school.
48. You own a set of beer and wine glasses from all the annual beer and wine festivals (notice how small the beer glasses got?)
49. You remember the old Peco camping trailer store, Leiphart Chevrolet, Southern Star Restaurant and Conversations Restaurant.
50. You rocked eggs and grits at the Square Table.
50. You enjoy and respect cranky old timers.
Funny, I just sent # 7 out on a mailing list just this morning… =)
Can I also just add that the (automatically generated) Possibly related posts: link to ” I’m being gassed out of my home by a farting dog!” almost required the purchase of a new keyboard on my part.
Clearly I should not drink and read blogs.
#) You remember when Mick’s was “Buck’s.
#) You remember the model train in the bar at the Freight Room
#) You saw your fist “date” movie at the Emory Cinema, and had Jagger’s pizza after.
Ha! Thanks for pointing out that “farting dog” link Stacy! I can’t figure out why it would be referenced…which makes it even more hilarious!
Adding to the list in that vain….
#) Your dog has come to expect attention from every single person he passes because everyone is so dog-friendly!
You still call it “Thumbs Up.”
You’ll always call it “Buck’s”
You call it “Quizno’s Plaza.”
You had your convertible top repaired at the corner of Ponce and Church.
You are still in bed when you listen to the traffic report.
You’ve seen a PAL put a quarter in someone’s parking meter.
You have a Ruth Franklin print in your home. Or an original, if you are lucky!
You know people who have met and fallen in love, or formed long-time friendships, while volunteering at Decatur events.
You know what “Pizza by Candlight” is.. . Better yet, you have eaten there.
You know there’s an “e” in Clairemont