One-Liners to Live By
Decatur Metro | October 6, 2011 | 12:01 pmAfter reading this rather sardonic NYTimes’ review of an updated version of “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, I got to thinking about all the great little portable one-liners we try to carry around in our heads to keep ourselves in check or on the “right path”.
For instance, one of the “How to Win” gems mentioned in the article is “Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips”. As another example, here’s one that has kept crawling up into my consciousness over the last few weeks, “If you aren’t failing, you’re not trying hard enough.”
What one-liners do you live by?…or at least think are good enough for momentary consideration.
“If you aren’t failing, you’re not trying hard enough.”
I like that one. I wish I had applied that philosophy more often when I was younger.
Tell me about it!
It sorta goes along with the recent NYT’s article “What if the Secret to Success is Failure?” Though that’s where I got it from.
The one I always want to use at work or with school system is: “Your failure to plan is not my emergency.” You know how many times that response works? Somewhere between 0-3% of the time!
IT IS WHAT IT IS.
I was really puzzled when my sister-in-law first used this expression (about my mother). I’ve come to see the value of it over time……also at work and with the school system!
Two I love:
“Yes we can.” Barack Obama
“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” Henry Ford
Love both of those!
Sorry Deanne, but “Yes, we can!” is more accurately attributed to Bob the Builder (along with his dependable sidekick, Wendy). As in: “Can we fix it? Yes, we can!”
Our President, Bob, and Wendy don’t mind who gets the credit. They just want us to all embrace the message! :0)
Agree and agree!
Along the same lines as the one about failing: “You have to make your first 2000 mistakes before you can start to get somewhere.”
Never tell your old man that he’s lost a step. Because he hasn’t.
and
Coffee is for closers.
Second prize is a set of steak knives.
They just love talking to salesmen.
Was always confused by “pretty is as pretty does”
It means that looking pretty is irrelevant if you’re acting like a mean girl.
Wow, that makes sense now. How about that? I feel a little bit stupid for not putting that together. Thanks. 🙂
Stupid is as stupid does
Wow. A spiritual (and I don’t mean religious) thread on DM. Very cool. I’ll have to think more on this and get back later. But this one came first. There is more to it than this, but the beginning gives you the ‘idea’:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.” (Rumi)
I’ve got a bunch but I really can’t print any of them here without being edited and moderated.
Shuh! Tease.
Words to live by… What kind of life are you living?!? :0)
My nana used to say of us recalcitrant granchildren: “S/He’ll have his/her way or harelip Satan!” I was never quite positive just what that meant, but it’s left an indelible impression on me…
In Egyptian Arabic, it’s pronounce “yom assil, yom bassil.” It means, “some days it’s honey, some days it’s onion.”
“You get what you settle for”
“Don’t forget to bring a towel!” — Towelie
Lines my father said to me as a kid and I still use today:
“Your wants won’t hurt you.”
“If you’ve got the money, honey, I got the time.” As I grew up, I learned this was a country song. I thought my dad had made it up.
If I had a nickel for every time my mama uttered, “Your wants won’t hurt you,” I could retire in comfort and security right now! (Especially now that I’ve learned she was right!)
“What have you got to lose except you overweening pride, and you don’t need that anyway.”
Useful stirring up courage just before asking for something like a date.
Schaefer is the one beer to have when you’re having more than one.
“It’s the best beer I’ve ever tasted. And I’ve tasted a lot.” — Billy Carter
http://www.the-forum.com/advert/images/BILLY2.JPG
We used to say it was the beer to have when you’re having more than none!
Some days peanuts, other days shells.
Bonus points for anybody who knows this reference without looking it up: “When you’re out of Point, you’re out of town.”
Point beer in Wisconsin?
Ya, hey..
“Redefine normal and get back to it.”
“Shut up brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-Tip!”
“I came here to kick @$$ and chew bubblegum. …and I’m all outta bubblegum.”
“A six-demon bag!”
“If God hadn’t intended people to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them out of meat.”
“Pass the butter.”
50 quatloos
Nice! Love the Roddy Piper quote.
Somebody’s a John Carpenter fan.
Only boring people get bored.
Oops. Hit the publish button too soon. 50 quay ops to the first person to correctly attribute all those.
Homer Simpson
“It’s funny because it’s true.”
F*ck it dude, let’s go bowling.
+1
Contact is the most important word in the English language. – My grandfather, a salesman
No matter where you go, there you are.
My dad:
“Don’t be a slave to fashion.”
“Big risk, little reward.”
My mom:
“It can’t hurt to ask. The worst that can be said is ‘No.'”
My grandma:
“Gettin’ old ain’t for sissys!”
Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.
If you can’t be a good example, you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy. – Ben Franklin
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes it rains.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda, won’t get it done.
If it is to be, it’s up to me.
Don’t pray for lighter loads, work for a stronger back.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Teddy Roosevelt
I keep this on hand for those who spend more time whining than finding solutions.
My grandmother: “If ‘wishes’ were horses, then beggars would ride.”
Mom?
I didn’t know you posted comments on this blog. (or knew what a blog is for that matter…)
“If wishes were horses …” Ah! That reminds me of Melissa Etheridge’s “Brave and Crazy” — a ferociously good song.
My first grade teacher wrote on the chalkboard, the first day of school:
“Whether you can or can’t, you are right”
It is up to you to decide
*
Why put off tomorrow, what you can do today.
Tomorrow is promised to no one.
I prefer…
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!
One I used to hate hearing at work, but finally realized how true it was.
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. –Dr. Seuss
My 2 favorites are:
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think
and
Everything thing will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end
Your mama.
(A universal retort that works every time.)
Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to … the love you make.” (Beatles)
“To assume makes an A$$ of U and ME.” (my dad)
“Don’t judge.” (my daughter)
“It never gets easier, you just go faster.” – Greg LeMond on bike racing..
wle
My mom: Drink plenty of water.
And, in a related note: Never pass up the chance to use the bathroom.
You just conjured my mother’s voice!
“Call on God, but row away from the rocks.” — Indian proverb
“Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” – John F. Kennedy
“Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple”. – Barry Switzer
“I intend to live forever — so far, so good.” — Steven Wright
Love the Switzer one.
Love the Switzer one, too.
If you get tired, pull over. If you get hungry, eat something.
“It’s all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out.”
Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless. — Kenny Powers
And one more from Mr. Powers. Words to live by:
The humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it making sh*tloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things. That way in case one day youre not famous you can still be rich as hell and better than everyone around you.
“Fair” is something you pay to ride the bus.
My dear father gave me the best advice ever:
Always count your change at the track.
“Nothing good ever happens after midnight.” – my grandmother. I hated this when I was young and now that I’ve experienced it, I swear by it.
I heard President Carter use this one once, too, after an evening talk he gave — as he was leaving to go to bed, he said.
another one from my mom (to her daughters in college): Every drink of alcohol kills brain cells. I don’t have any to spare, do you? (cue eye rolling and/or long-suffering sighs by daughters)
“…regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.”
–Cliff Clavin (excerpt from the Buffalo Theory)
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.” — Woody Allen
Almost only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades
My mother: “You want what? People in hell want ice water”
there are no great things…only small things with great love (mother teresa)
Me dear old Mom…”An idle mind is the devils playground” It took the better part of my life before I figured out what that meant!
My dad used to say this one, which is similar to some other posts here: “Sometimes you bite the bear. Sometimes it bites you.”
I recently came across this one that I love: “”Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” — Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Dad:
“If a bullfrog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt”
Mom:
“Take the bull by the horns and run under the door with it!”
If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room…
He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses. – Horace, Roman poet
Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile, I caught hell for. – Chief Justice Earl Warren
One can resist the invasion of armies. One cannot resist the invasion of ideas. – Victor Hugo
…
I inherited that calm from my father, who was a farmer. You sow, you wait for good or bad weather, you harvest, but working is something you always need to do. – Miguel Indurain
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil, and you’re a thousand miles from the corn field. – Dwight D. Eisenhower
My grandfather: “If you marry for money, you’ll earn it at minimum wage!”
Good one to counteract the thoughts I sometimes have of “I forgot to marry rich!”
..and one more Southern, rural expression: “Just ’cause the cat had kittens in the oven don’t make ’em biscuits.”
Never was quite sure what folks always meant by that, but I like it.
That’s an expression usually reserved for first-generation Yankee offspring (meaning that just because a Yankee’s kids were born here, that doesn’t make ’em Southern). 😀
why thank you! And now I know. So I can put a check mark by “Learn something new today” on Friday’s ‘to do’ list.
We were not able to say the word “can’t” around my parents without immediately hearing…
“Can’t never could do anything.”
Did they also say, “If if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, oh what a merry Christmas we would have!” ?
My dad used to bust out both sayings whenever us kids were pitching a fit, making us howl even more! (I think he even looked forward to tantrums just so he could use them! Gosh, how it tickled him to do it!)
Trust, but verify.
–Russian proverb popularized in America by Ronald Reagan
“You don’t make friends with salad!” — Homer Jay Simpson
“Don’t take a bath in free booze.” Martha Allen Jones (gramma, RIP)
“Never trust a fart.” — Jack Nicholson
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
–B. Kliban
“be well, do good work and keep in touch” – G Keillor.
BTW, did anyone hear Garrison recite “Mambo Cadlillac” by Barbara Hamby this morning on The Writer’s Almanac? Super stuff!
“You’re f**^ing out” – Kenny Powers
“Your thoughts create your world.”
love is in the details.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.