It’s Literally Wednesday

From Dave at Little Shop of Stories, this is the first in a weekly post on literary matters, some serious and some, e.g. today, less so.

It’s Poetry Time

April is National Poetry Month.  That’s the time for college educated snobs to break out their sonnets and free verse and haiku and what have you.  But for a few days every year — right around St. Patrick’s Day — limericks take center stage.

There are a few rules that have evolved, but even these aren’t set in stone.  Five lines: the first, second, and fifth rhyme with about 7-12 syllables each, while the third and fourth rhyme and have about 5-7 syllables.  Rhythm is everything.  So is fun.

Submit your original limerick.  Keep them local.  Keep them clean.

Here’s two:

There once was a man from Decatur
Who blogged that no city was greater
“The schools are superb
“Better beer has no burg
“I can walk to both early and later”

DM once gave me permission
That put him in an awkward position
I wrote two limericks
With my very best schtick
Now he moderates all my submissions

54 thoughts on “It’s Literally Wednesday”

  1. Playing off internet memes
    Or commenters letting of steam
    Put DM in a funk ’til
    a new thought he thunk
    Adorn each new day with a theme.

  2. Walmart, she wants into Decatur
    Well, the people say they hate her
    But Selig said yea
    The Board said you may
    Now we sit in traffic on N. Decatur

  3. The community says, “We must cherish
    The things that are us, or we’ll perish!”
    Though we cannot agree
    On just what makes us ‘we,’
    It’s variety that spices the best dish.

  4. I bought a small hen up in Tucker.
    “I’ll roast her, as soon as I pluck her.”
    She started to beg,
    Then laid me an egg!
    I kept her. (Now who’s the sucker?)

  5. Ode to DM

    A most wonderful spot on the net,
    Where daily our opinions we vet;
    When not flaming blogs
    Over children and dogs,
    We’re the nicest bunch you’ve never met.

  6. Too seriously so many of us take
    Our opinions, our thoughts, for God’s sake
    I simply say when
    Your skin’s feeling thin
    Grab a beer, pet your dog, take a break

  7. I am not amused and I curse Dave for suggesting this. I just wasted two hours trying to come up with a limerick that would not get me permanently banned or, worse, sued. Obviously, I was unsuccessful. Dadgummit!

    1. No worries…if it’s too over the top or offensive, you’ll be moderated. Don’t ask me how I know.

    2. oh j_t…really thought you were going to hit it out of the park on this one…perhaps a cocktail would grease the creative wheels?

      1. Well of course a cocktail would grease the wheels. It would also guaran-damn-tee that I get censored and possibly banished! But given Keith’s reassurance, I think I’ll try that route…after I see that “judge” this afternoon…

        1. It appears i owe an apology
          for a sin clear for all to see
          you certainly said pluck
          the original said ____
          so a definite mea culpa from me

          1. OMG, that was perfect, or so she said.
            It’s the best post by far, that tonight I’ve read.
            I rhymed “pluck” and “Tuck,”
            You could have used “cluck.”
            But enough, it is late, got to go to bed.

  8. There once were three men from Oakhurst
    Good men who had built up big thirsts
    To Steinbeck’s they went
    U-Joint next they were sent
    And that night, these good men became worse

  9. There once were two girls from Decatur
    Who found they could openly date here
    Holding hands while they walked
    No heads turned, no one talked
    Couldn’t tell between gayer and straighter

      1. I’m trying to do one that proves you can rhyme with orange. How about if you work on purple?

        1. I’m about thirty minutes away from my first Jager. So give me an hour and I should have some good ones!

        2. OK, one shot at it before the liquor takes hold:

          Mine is the best bar in Decatur;
          It beats all the breeder incubators;
          At the Brick Store they wear purple;
          And Twain’s is full of Urkels;
          So come down to Trackside for your Jagers!

          1. How about this…

            There once was a man at an Oakhurst Bar
            Whose service was hailed as the best, by far
            He’ll serve you if you’re purple
            As long as you pay your bill
            And promise if you’re over-served you’ll leave your car

      2. At the Brick Store is a girl who turned orange
        She is loose like a door off its door hinge
        Though she looks like a carrot
        She will easily share it
        With those blinded by drink from one more binge

  10. “Leave us be! Let us free!” they all bark.
    Some have even resorted to snark.
    “Could we manage a scoop,
    We’d clean our own poop.
    Just leave us alone in our park.”

    1. There once was a park near Adair
      whose fence caused tree branches to ensnare
      a committee formed to fix
      those dastardly sticks
      now dogs have not one but a pair.

  11. He once posted as Token Republican
    He was really a voice in a lonely land
    Though he lives where it’s blue
    He still muddled through
    Trying to educate those with their heads in sand

    1. I know I’m not the only one
      Who’s a Decatur Republican
      Despite our difference
      I can only inference
      I’m in this town for the long run

      1. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist! I’ve been eagerly awaiting your appearance since the post went up! Welcome back!!!


        1. Maybe my eyes deceive me
          As there is no limerick to see
          Possibly it was crude
          Or maybe even lewd
          And DM moderated thee

            1. That’s it. I’m threatening to sue, like the trial lawyer I am, unless you give Token my email address to send me the moderated limerick!

            2. Aw, man– moderated! Some of my finest work, too, if I do say so meself… ;-P
              On the other hand, I feel like I’ve passed my DM initiation now– I got spanked for being naughty!!! Hee-hee!

  12. The mayors said again, “Let us annex,”
    Making some people reach for their Xanax.
    “You are wrong, I am right!”
    Echoed into the night
    As we argued and fussed about tax facts.

  13. far and wide are our festivals lauded
    books, beach, beer, and fireworks make it crowded.
    and down through the years
    the key is volunteers.
    It is Lee Ann who must be applauded!

  14. I can’t seem to get in the mood for a Decatur Limerick, so I’m offering this Five Points haiku although I’m not sure it really is a haiku.

    small twittering birds
    peck at chicken bones, weave hair —
    walking shoes at lunch

  15. Next week’s challenge: Sonnets. Don’t all speak up at once.
    Really, Dave, this was fun. Thanks.

  16. In Decatur we have lots ‘o problems;
    And even more thoughts on how to solve ’em;
    From dog parks divided;
    To school boards daily chided;
    Where, oh where, is Jimmy Carter when we need him?

  17. There once was a town with a liberal bent
    Occupiers were heroes when they pitched their tents
    Rich should pay their fair share
    Evil business beware
    And all problems are solved with one cent

  18. returning pets is but one of our feats
    as we navigate anonymous bleats
    many fests, our elation
    interrupt transportation
    and our trolls have more eyes on the streets

    1. Ridge is out biking somewhere in this gorgeous weather…he ain’t got time for us! (Heck, if I could be outside right now, I wouldn’t have time for us, either!)

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