Comments on: Another Decatur Cemetery Vandalism Incident, Reward Offered

By: At Home in Decatur

At Home in Decatur — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:32:13 +0000

Even today, I think most children and teens know not to deface headstones. Standards haven’t changed that much. It’s completely unacceptable as a prank and in fact, is a crime, no?

I don’t think we’re really disagreeing. You are interested in parents responding by using this as an example to teach about unacceptable behavior. I don’t disagree with that. I have a different interest but that doesn’t take away from yours. What frightens me is that this goes beyond a prank and is a hate crime. Hate crimes indicate a level of sociopathy that shouldn’t occur in our community.

By: smalltowngal

smalltowngal — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:05:44 +0000

We could take the racial and sexual slurs out of this incident and my comments would be the same. That aspect takes it to another level of meanness, sure. But without it, even if it then fell into the realm of “a kids’ prank” IMO it would also be a nasty deed with potential to cause vicious hurt to some unsuspecting, grieving persons, and therefore still something to be sure to air and discuss with kids. When I was 6 years old I knew better than to deface headstones, and I understood the reason was that it would cause grief to the families of the dead people. Then again, I also knew to sit still and be quiet in church, at a performance of any kind, not to run through stores, and to behave and not whine in restaurants. So maybe I’m just off on some middle-aged tangent of grumpiness.

By: At Home in Decatur

At Home in Decatur — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 12:05:28 +0000

It’s a fine recommendation, kids should know that cemeteries are to be respected. Kids also need to be aware of hate crimes. But hate crimes are indicative of a much more deeply disturbed or criminal personality than what a parental lecture is going to address. Toothpaste on graves a few weeks ago seemed possibly within the realm of kid’s pranks, although not if the perpetrators knew that toothpaste damaged headstones. Racial and anti-Semitic slurs are not even close to pranks. If children are involved, they indicate a longterm and deep behavior disorder. My guess is that it’s adults or older teens who already have a crime record of some sort.

By: smalltowngal

smalltowngal — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 04:48:25 +0000

I didn’t say anyone is showing tolerance. I just said it’s an opportunity to reinforce ideas about what should and should not be tolerated, and I personally think it’s important so I’m being preachy about it.

By: At Home in Decatur

At Home in Decatur — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 02:26:15 +0000

Who is showing tolerance for this? Don’t see that.

By: smalltowngal

smalltowngal — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 00:42:07 +0000

I guess I feel more urgency about it than “cannot hurt to point it out.” Kids get bombarded with so much input via so many channels and they are still building their filters of critical, independent thinking. It makes me think of the Broken Window Theory — hate and destruction are not OK, even if it seems like individual instances are not that significant, because if we tolerate small things, then we’re more likely to overlook bigger things and it becomes more and more difficult to draw a line.

Of course, I have no children and so am in a perfect position to judge and direct how the rest of you rear yours!

By: At Home in Decatur

At Home in Decatur — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 23:51:28 +0000

Agree. It cannot hurt to point out the bad example to our kids. Just think that racial slurs and anti-Semitic comments are not in the realm of youthful pranks and indicate some seriously disturbed hateful minds.

By: smalltowngal

smalltowngal — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 21:46:19 +0000

By “children” I meant anyone still under their parents’ control/influence/responsibility. And I think this is important not by way of trying to chastise the actual culprits (although that would be nice), but rather hoping people take the opportunity to let their youngsters know explicitly that it’s a very bad thing and how and why, instead of assuming the kids understand all that and really get it. IMO it presents the opportunity for a teachable moment that Opie Taylor’s dad would not let pass by.