After a hard day’s work on the grounds crew at Sesame Place**, mowing lawns and pressure washing toddlers’ shit from the water slides and every other conceivable exposed surface, I could eat a double/double (two sandwiches, two orders of fries, with cole slaw of course), washed down with at least three refills of sweet tea and sometimes still have room for an ice cream at Styer’s on the way home. So yeah, you’re older than me, too, even though my looming 40th birthday is making these memories of high school seem more like fiction every day!

*OK, so it may not have actually been mine but rather my friend’s T-top Camaro. He did let me drive it sometimes, though. OK, once, and only until he realized I had no idea what that third pedal on the left was for. I had an ’85 Cavalier 2.0L 3 speed so yeah, I let him drive to the mall and my other friend with the ’76 Monte Carlo “Bat Mobile” drove when we needed to pile in 8 people or more.

**Yes, I said Sesame Place. Some of you laugh and the rest need an explanation. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Place – At least I wasn’t the guy who got fired for switching the entire park’s sound system over from Billy Joel and Huey Lewis to GnR Lies that one morning just before opening. I Used to Love Her is what really set them off but I was quite impressed that he somehow kept it going through You’re Crazy and almost to the end of One In A Million before management figured out how to get back to Hip To be Square. Ah, good times!